If your relationship is not centered on Equality, you may way to consider getting out of the relationship (if you can safely), or talking to someone about what steps you can take. The history of the wheels can be found at: http://www.theduluthmodel.org/. The wheel refers to "her" but men can be abused and be in a relationship that is not one of equality as well. The violence wheel, as you probably imagined, is the opposite of this wheel.
Many people stay in relationship thinking it will get better. Many times, the best time of a relationship are at the beginning, and things will escalate from their if their is abuse. Remember, abuse is about power. The act of gaining power is constantly changing by the abuser.