Monday, October 31, 2011

Is Your Marriage in Trouble?

An emotional connection with someone outside your marriage can have as much of an impact as a physical connection. Here are 8 questions to consider to see if your marriage may be in trouble:
  • Are you turning to your friend for comfort rather than turning to your spouse?
  • Do you find yourself thinking about your friend even when you're at home?'
  • Do you seek opportunities to be with your friend even when work doesn't require you to be together?
  • Do you e-mail and text your friend when you are not together?
  • Have you told your spouse about these message?
  • Does the relationship with your friend take more of your time and energy thank you relationship with your spouse?
  • Do you compare your spouse to your friend?
  • Would you be uncomfortable introducing your spouse to your friend?
(From Kenneth Matheson, "Fideltiy in Marriage", Ensign, Sept 2009)

 Having friends outside marriage is all right, even healthy, but these questions hit on some key elements that says there is more than friendship going on. 

If you are emotionally involved with someone other than your spouse; stop the contact.  If there are problems at home, work them out with your spouse, or at least talk to him/her about the problems.  Some things cannot be worked out, but it is difficult to work on a problem that your significant other does not know exist. 

I have been on the rotten end of the emotional fidelity.  I did not realize things were out of control until my husband told me that he did not love me anymore.  If he had talked to me about the problems he was having with me, instead of his friend; I may have had the chance to celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary in November. 

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