Monday, July 18, 2011

Ugggh... Stupid...

I don't get a clue when it comes to men at all.  I have never been able to tell when a man LIKES me or when he just likes me.  Looking back at my life, there are a few episodes where I woke up the next day and had to ask myself, "Could you be any more of a dork?"  Then another situation comes up and I realize why yes, yes indeed, I can be much, much dorkier!

One of these clueless nights happened with I was 17 and just new to college.  I had a crush on this guy, we talked on the phone late into the night, and spent a few hours just talking in the living room of the house that I shared with 9 other girls.  Well, one night he asked if I wanted to go to a dance and I told him, "No.  I am tired."  He then asked, "Do you want to go out on a walk with me?"  And in all my infinite wisdom, I said, "No, I just told you I am tired."  He said, "So you don't want to do anything with me tonight?"  And because I was tired, cranky, and clueless, I said, "No, I would rather sleep then do anything tonight."  Yep... that is how I left it.  Needless to say, when I called this guy a few days later, suddenly he felt sick.

We'll skip ahead a few years to when I was newly 20.  There was this guy that I had been a pen pal with for a few years when he was serving a mission for the church.  When he got home, I was at college in Idaho and he came to visit me with his parents and brothers.  I adored him, he was handsome, and we had a few fun dates while he was in town.  He went home, we talked on the phone for awhile, and then he asked me to go and visit him again.  Once again... the stupid stick hit me... and I told him that I couldn't just leave to go and visit him rather than say, "I'm broke!"  So a few weeks later a dance came (I had never been to prom and thought this would be a great prom like dance) and invited him to go with me.  He told me that he couldn't just fly out to see me.  We didn't talk much after that.

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The next big goof was when I was 24 and felt very much in love with a great man.  I flew to see him a few times and we had wonderful times together.  Then he got deployed to sea and couldn't communicate with me much, stuff was happening with his family, and then the phone calls stopped.  When we were talking at the airport before I flew off (this is when people could go into the waiting areas with you) he asked me what I thought about him and where I thought this was going.  I was happy he was asking, but this was my first serious relationship talk I had, and I goofed.  I said something along the lines of, "Well, I really like you, but I'm not sure what else is out there."  Wrong thing to say... he was all I really needed and looking back, I couldn't really care less about what else was out there at that point.  I got on the plane and flew off realizing I had just hurt the man I liked.  I tried to make it up to him, but I never did see him again.  This might be the person that I'll always wonder, "What if!"

I'm 35 and back in the dating game.  I'll probably make a few hundred more mistakes, but now, I know if I make a mistake or miscommunicate, I do deserve another chance!  I don't beat myself up over it too much these days and hope that someday, somewhere, I'll find a guy that can take the mistakes and just love me for who I am.

What are some of the stupid dating mistakes you made?  Maybe if you share, I can learn from you and make one less mistake.

I do hope all the people dating realize that an innocent mistake is a mistake and we shouldn't hold it against someone.  Who knows if that is the person you would mesh with the best?

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